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Shalom

Last night I lay in bed and thought, what the heck am I doing? I am leaving my family, my home, all that I hold dear and starting a new life miles and miles away. And all for what? Is this school really worth giving everything for, or am I about to make a terrible mistake? A deep fear settled upon me and I cried to my Lord but my frail voice seemed to echo back, mockingly.

Riding to church this morning I thought, God show yourself to me today because I am in desperate need of your strong presence. Little did I know what was to come.

During the service our pastor got up to sing a song with his mother and daughter and I thought, great another poorly sung hymn coming right up.

"Be still, my soul! The Lord is on thy side."

I couldn't believe my ears, was this the pastor singing or God leaning down and whispering in my ear? I leaned forward, taking in every word.

"Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

"Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

"Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

"Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."

How my heart did soak in those blessed words. Still stunned I stood to sing the hymns.

"When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain:
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

Was this really happening? My God I am listening, please don't stop speaking.

"Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.
Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.

"But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

"Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey."

I sang my heart out, tears threateningly close. "Now let us sing the next hymn on the same page" what simple words.

"’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

Refrain:
"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

"Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

"Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

"I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end."

My heart didst cry out, Lord it is too much, you are too good. What peace filled me then. Though the sadness remains I cling to my Lord and remember anew that this is not just about some whim or fleeting desire, this is about doing the will of my Father in heaven.

Come what may, my God is with me and "if my God is with me, then what could ever stop me. And if my God is for me, what can stand against."

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