Wanting what you cannot

31 January, 2018—3:45pm Expansive and silent, the waves of snow scuttle and shimmer. Black trees are silhouetted by white-blue sky; colors echoing the earth. God always seems to speak to me when I am standing here in this vast open space—feeling small. Today He spoke through the article I read just minutes before. The author described me, and so many other Americans, obsessed with fitness. We follow YouTube amateurs as if they were gods. We fling our Thor’s hammer like our bulging coach; or leap through air, pursuing trim, toned, Athena. Our clothes, phones, cars, are replete with their icons—their enviable abs and distended thighs. They heed our sweaty sacrifices and listened to our egotistical prayers, rewarding us with the body we covet. But we are mortals. We cannot dwell amongst the gods. The insalubrious rituals they demand batter our bones and mangle our muscles. Desiring to become strong, we are depleted. Yet we drag our sinewed body before the altar without exception. “No excuses. Don’t you dare pause that video.” So we don’t. Our bodies fall to rack and lay in a ruinous heap. Foot injuries leave us bed-ridden, pulled muscles prohibit us from climbing stairs, our back gives out. “Why do we?” God seems to answer in the sweeping snow, “you want to have what you cannot; what must wait; just like your mother, Eve.” God promised us we would have a perfect body—in heaven. He promised us strength and might—through Him. Only by waiting and trusting and releasing control do we receive that which we most desire. If we claw and fight for our life, death swallows us. If in pride we clamber to forbidden fruit, we wake up among gnarling roots. But there are some things we were never meant to have. Supreme power. Unlimited capacity. Utter independence and control. We want those too, and so build our bodies like so many towers of Babel. Realizing my impending fall, I unsubscribe from both of my YouTube workout channels, sign off my fitness account and determine to only workout moderately; preferably in God’s great creation. Works. This will only work through God’s grace. Works are never enough. “Lord, please enable me to release control of this. May I today learn gratitude; acknowledging you as God.” It is gratitude we lack and grace we need. (Article referenced: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/sep/30/has-extreme-fitness-gone-too-far-instagram-gym-classes )