31 January, 2018—3:45pm Expansive and silent, the waves of snow scuttle and shimmer. Black trees are silhouetted by white-blue sky; colors echoing the earth. God always seems to speak to me when I am standing here in this vast open space—feeling small. Today He spoke through the article I read just minutes before. The author described me, and so many other Americans, obsessed with fitness. We follow YouTube amateurs as if they were gods. We fling our Thor’s hammer like our bulging coach; or leap through air, pursuing trim, toned, Athena. Our clothes, phones, cars, are replete with their icons—their enviable abs and distended thighs. They heed our sweaty sacrifices and listened to our egotistical prayers, rewarding us with the body we covet. But we are mortals. We cannot dwell amongst the gods. The insalubrious rituals they demand batter our bones and mangle our muscles. Desiring to become strong, we are depleted. Yet we drag our sinewed body before the altar without exception.
The more sadness I feel over leaving my home, family and friends the more I wonder why I am doing this. Wouldn't it be easier to simply go on living as I was before. To live in my shell, not taking risks, not stretching myself. To be always dissatisfied with my choice in school. Isn't it worth it if it means being safe, secure and unchallengened. Even as I write this, I know that I cannot live fully knowing that I am not doing the will of Him who gave me this life. So to help me remember I read over the essay I submitted to my college entitled, "why do I want to attend ___". I attended a very small classical high school and loved the education, passion of the teachers and close knit environment. When I toured New Saint Andrews two years ago it seemed like the perfect place to continue this education and learn how to teach others as I had been taught. However, I allowed the fear of the unknown stand in my way. I have regretted that decision ever since. Since that time